Extract from Dependence Day by Robert Newman

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   Colin Liddle and David Bowie sat in armchairs, face to face, Colin’s four-foot record collection running along the floor between them. Two cups of tea. A fired-up electric heater (tiled into the wall). Colin spoke slowly with his head down: “It isn’t you I love – it’s your music, your albums. Well, quite like…” Colin looked up.
   To his dismay Bowie was wearing the cover of Space Oddity tied round his head as a mask. The mask had two eye-holes poked through the eyes in the photo. (It’s that actual-size photo with the orange spikey hair.) Worse, he was smoking a cigarette through a mouth-hole in the mask. “I don’t see the distinction,” he replied, holding the Gitanes elegantly in an attempt to appear nonplussed, an attempt scuppered only by wearing an album sleeve on his face. “Why can’t we be friends? It’s because I’ve only got one eye, isn’t it? Is it…

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